Cruel

How could you be so cruel?

Using me the way you did,

and playing me like a fool.

Do you have a conscience?

Do you even have a heart?

Did you know it would be this way?

Did you know it from the start?

I thought you were different.

From what I’m used to.

Did you plan to play this game?

Did you know what you would do?

Are you like this with all the chicks?

I think breaking hearts is how you get your kicks.

Is it just with me that you play your games?

Am I just another notch on your belt?

Am I just someone else to put on your list of names?

You must be out of your mind,

to think I would go out with you again.

I don’t want you as my man,

and definitely not a friend.

I thought we could go out,

I thought it would be cool.

But the one thing I didn’t think about

was that you would be so cruel.

 

HEW circa 1993

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First Mistake

I only wish you could see what you are doing to me,

You are breaking my heart.

You were right from the start.

Oh, please, give me one more chance.

And I will dance my last dance.

Can’t you see the pain in my eyes?

You should know love never dies.

It just sits to drown in your tears gasping for breath year after year.

When I see you, my yearning grows stronger, even though you love me no longer.

Late at night I cannot sleep.

All I do is just weep, for your strong arms to cuddle me oh, so tight.

And your love to guide me through the night.

You love someone else.

This hurts even more.

It hurts so much my heart is sore.

Now my tears turn to blood,

my hurt to sorrow.

You may not love me now,

but there’s always tomorrow.

For now give me one more kiss.

For old time’s sake.

Even though that was our first mistake.

 

HEW Circa 1987

 

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Until Then

I thought we were forever,

you and I.

You said I was the one.

It was only a lie.

 It’s been over a month now,

and I miss you more with every day.

Only if I knew the answers of “why?”

To the questions, I ask God when I pray.

 Why did this happen?

How did this happen?

I still do not understand.

It was magical in the beginning,

nevertheless, tragic in the end.

Still, I am at a loss…

Why did I let you in this heart of mine?

I should have known better.

Now I suffer the cost.

If it was meant to be,

we would find each other again.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

and wait until then…

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No one

I have no one to talk to but You.

No one but you will understand what I am going through.

Things I thought were long gone,

have crept up to the surface.

My sins and actions are forgivable,

and I know you forgive me.

But what has been done to me was a violation of trust

and I feel unworthy of love and affection.

How am I to trust again?

Who can I trust with my feelings and pain?

I can trust you for I know you will not hurt me.

You will not abandon me.

You will not forsake me.

I know your love is unconditional and undeniable.

No matter what I say – you can handle it.

You won’t get mad or walk away.

I’m deeply wounded but thankfully you are close to the brokenhearted.

I wish I could talk to you face to face.

I want to hear your voice.

I need for you to tell me that everything is going to be okay.

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Need To Feel Your Love

I look desperately to find the love,

I know that only you can give me.

I search high and low,

Up and down to find it.

I know you love me.

You said you love me as much as the east is from the west.

I read it in Your word,

I hear it in the hymns.

However, I just don’t feel it.

I want to feel your everlasting arms around me.

Feel the love, I know that is there.

Know the joy that comes from following you.

I’m empty inside.

I need for you Lord to fill this empty space.

Fill it with your Love and Compassion.

Fill it with your Understanding and Forgiveness.

There is no doubt about my love for You.

I have no doubt you love me too.

I just want to feel it.

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Interruption

How dare you come into my life,
then walk away.
I introduced you to my child and my family.
Oh, if only I knew the games, you would play.

You heartless son of a bitch,
that is what you are.
You don’t care about my feelings
or the heart that you have scarred.

My son asks about you.
He wants to know if you hate us.
I don’t know what to say.
If I go by what you say, then “no,”
However, if I go by what you do, then “yes.”
I don’t know which to trust!

I’m angry. I’m mad. I’m pissed to the bone.
How could you just interrupt my life like that?
I was better off alone.

It would’ve spared me a lot of heartbreak and pain.
I was content with my life.
But through all that,
you showed me for a moment how to love again.

March 2012 HEW

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Sweet Nothings

We were in love
at least that’s what I thought.
We were to be together forever.
For you were the soul mate I had sought.

One day you were there
the next you were gone.
I don’t know what happened.
Where did things go wrong?

You would tell me sweet nothings,
and nothing is what they meant.
The lies and the games you played
was not worth the time spent.

I cried many tears and begged for your return.
They fell on deaf ears.
Now the hurt has faded away -
all that’s left is a woman scorned.

You said you hoped I wouldn’t write a poem about you.
Since I usually don’t write unless I am angry,
sad, or quite blue.
But guess what?
Here it is a poem of anguish and torment,
of a love gone wrong.
Even if it only lasted a moment.

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